I was feeling down today, more so than normal and a friend noticed.
Its hard for people to know what to say, to know how to act, to know how to be around a person like me.
Today when I was upset,
He simply said, “Think positive thoughts.”
So I sat for a minute, trying to think of something, before responding, “I have no positive thoughts.”
That’s when it really hit me.
I have hit a point in my life where there is nothing to look forward to. I live from event to event, and when those events are over I am constantly overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness and despair, feelings of emptiness. Struggling to find something else to look forward to. I no longer look forward to holidays, to going home, to seeing family; the only thing I ever truly looked forward to was seeing Mum.
We can try all we want to “think happy thoughts.” But at the end of the day, this is pointless if there are no more positives in your life.
So how about we go about this a bit differently?
Why don’t we take a minute each day and write down one thing we are grateful for.
Even if it the smallest of things.
I will go first, and begin with today.
I am grateful for my friends,
The ones who make you smile even when you’re dying inside,
I am just grateful to have a reason to smile,
Even if that moment is small,
Even if it means nothing in the big scheme of things.
All that matters is that it meant something today, and for me that is enough for now.