Have you ever had a dream so vivid, you had to take a minute and second-guess the difference between reality and fantasy?
I’m talking about those dreams that feel so spine-tingling real; you need to catch yourself before you start to believe it.
I find myself having more and more of these dreams, where the lines between what’s real and what isn’t begin to fade more and more. The deeper I dive, the more alive I begin to feel and the happier I become. Almost as if a dream is a way of escaping reality, an ‘out’ you could say, something to make life that little bit more bearable.
The other day, I dreamt of my Mum in the most vivid way. I felt the emotions right down to my bones. Shivering as her hand touched mine, I could feel myself go numb at the thought of her being by my side again.Her smile was contagious, and I found myself grinning beyond belief, only this time it wasn’t fake. Happiness seemed to grow within me and a light I hadn’t seen for a long time started to reignite.
“Alive” – the only way I could describe such a feeling.
Not once did I second guess if it was real or not, every aching part of me felt as though I was home, as if I had lived there my whole life. Reality struck not long after. I could feel my rib cage rise and fall, as my breaths got shallower, my body aching at the thought of waking up.
All of a sudden I was back and with it came this darkness I thought I had left behind. With it came every emotion and more. Tears streaming down my face, I couldn’t begin to describe how heavy I felt in that moment.
All I wanted was to drift back to sleep, to go back into a world where she was still there. Lying in my bed, aching, sobbing, drowning, the light slowly burning away as darkness filled my thoughts.
This is reality, I could tell, because dreams fill me with the brightest of lights, snatched away by realities darkness.
“Take me back,” I screamed.
What did I expect?
After all, it was just a dream.